“My coming does not mean I have fired a gun.” Seeing the indifferent attitude of the family I replied angrily.

               “Don't talk of guns dear son. They are so common these days. I was terrified to see why have you come only after four days when it is not easy to come from such a distant place.” Mothers words helped to soften the tension prevailed in the family.

               “How are Jagmeet and all the rest ?” Mother asked about the welfare of my wife and children. But her tone of speaking was such that if they all were well what was the necessity of coming here so urgently.

               I had conjectured the tone of her question, but I thought it better to remain silent. There was no reason for them to get panicky. But how could I convince them that I had not come for the purpose they might have been thinking. I was surprised and unhappy to feel that 'purpose' was being sought for coming to my own  home. But they were justified in their own way. Four days before when I had come with my wife and children there arose a great hue and cry in the family. Before going back to Chandigarh at the time of departure my wife had threatened to severe all ties of relationship with the family. I had tactfully tried to pacify Jagmeet, but she did not listen to me and unwillingly I had to follow her and reached Chandigarh with her. But I could not get any peace of mind. Again and again mother's taunting remarks were coming to my mind which were tightening two the knots of Jagmeet's threats concerning severing of all relationships with the family. In this knotted mental condition the wife, children and her demands for a new house all seemed to me false and deceptive. Such a mental condition made me impossible to stay even for a minute and inspite of Jagmeet's opposition I took the bus going to my village. I had made up bone mind to leave two  acre share of my land, which was a bone of contention, for my brothers. Reaching home I would announce, “Dear brothers, as I am unable to give you any monetary help, in future I too won't demand any such help from you. Instead I am leaving my share of land for you.” This sacrifice seemed to me nobler than severing all relationship with real brothers.

               But on reaching home I had realized that Jagmeet was right when she was objecting to my coming here. Jagmeet might have been right in her own way, but it was not possible for me to agree with her because she herself had sown the seeds of contention, which had grown into a thorny tree.

               The day we came here last time I was not willing to come. She was resisting on coming here. I tried to change her mind but she did not listen to me. She had a craze to have a house of her own. On Sunday, we were reading the newspaper, seeing an advertisement about a govt. scheme, she was excited. Booking of a flat could be possible with rupees fifteen thousand only. Rest of the money could be paid in easy instalments after taking the possession of the flat. Not paying any attention to what she was saying, I started reading a story published in the newspaper. Touching my chin with her fingers she forcibally made me to look upward and very lovingly said, “How long will we remain indifferent to our rights? Living in rented houses in no life... House owners consider us nomads... Do you remember when last month we had given a gift to the house owner's daughter on her engagement? Next day the land lady came to return the gift. She said, “It does not look nice for us to accept the gift of poor tenants...”

               Jagmeet's conversation had also affected me but I reacted by saying, “How can we buy a house when our pockets are empty ?” But she said,

               “Whatever excuse I may invent, I shall bring ten thousand from my parents. Can't you manage five thousand only ? You are a man after all. You must also do something. EVen you can ask for your share of parental properity.” Her instigation touched my pride and I got ready. But when we reached the village bus-stop, my mind changed again. I had forbidden her also not to talk about money, because five years back I had been very badly insulted for asking for the rent of my land of two Kilas. Consequently, I had to leave my M.A. Studies incomplete and had to get a job as a clerk in a private company. It did not happen only with me, my elder brother Preetu had tasted the same insult asking for his share of land. Father separated him giving him quarter and a Kila of land after keeping shares of his own, mother's and unmarried brothers and sister's, shares. When Preetu could not meet the expenses of his family he apologized for his insolence after one year and he again became a member of the family. Now he is labouring submissively like a bullock.

               One of the younger brothers Mita, though unmarried, also created a row to get separated. But father bluntly refused to give him any land. Consequently, he ran away from home and for a long time his where abouts were not known. Then one day  a news came which we were afraid of Mita had become a disciple of the Terrorist Baba at Amirtsar.

               All these incidents flashed in my mind. So, I begged Jagmeet not to ask for money mentioning my share of land. Presently, she yielded to my request, but at night - when all the members of the family were sitting together she indirectly indicated our demand for money. She said, “Beeje, please given a little help to arrange for us a house, so that we may also taste the comforts of our own house.”

               “You both being govt. employees, you can build a bungalow instead of a house." Father said tauntingly, Jagmeet did not said anything more but father went on in the same tone, “You people always come running to the village as if we have buried treasures here. Sitting at Chandigarh you never tried to imagine the difficulties we face here to get both ends meet.” Father's softly spoken words were surcharged with such a fire that everbody felt their heat. In order to cool down the heat of his words I said, “Bapu, who asks for treasures? Jagmeet has talked by the way.”

               “You both are chips of the same block. Can she dare to speak without your consent ? We are quite aware of your 'by the way' talks. Your conspiracies are no secret for us. If you think yourself educated, don't think we are simpletons. The buildings, where you have received education, have been built by us." Father was ready to pick up a quarrel. His tested strategy for this purpose was to overpower his opponent in the first attack. Fearing that the quarrel might take a an unpleasant turn, mother in order to save the situation said, “Dear son you may take anything you like from here, we won't stand in your way. Children are equally dear to the parents. But as you know in such a big family saving of money is not possible.”

               Mother's remarks softened the tension of the environment, but I was feeling as if I had been insulted. Inwardly I was unhappy with Jagmeet for doing what I had advised her not to do. Again Jagmeet speaking on my behalf tried to get me out of this unpleasant state of mind, “Mother, you are reproaching us as we are strangers in this house. Where else should a man go at the time of some need if not to his home?”

               At this Preetu's wife flared up “Sister, none bothers about our needs. Nobody comes to give us money. We are living our life in such tattered clothes. Even our bones won't be able to see Chandigarh...Actual sufferers are silent, but those who enjoy the conforts of life are unnecessarily making a hue and cry.....”

               “As if we are leading a princely life there” Jagmeet mothered.

               Father said, “you may share the imperial food we take here. You are crying sitting on an elephant. What else do you want?”

               Father’s remarks infuriated Jagmeet. She could not control her anger. But she was unable to say anything to father. She gave vent to her fury involving me. “When my own companion is weak, others will trample us then", she said to me, “Why don't you settle the matter in the meeting of the relatives?”

               Tears choked mother’s voice. Rubbing her eyes with her palms she stopped speaking. After that no body had any urge to speak. Weeping Jeeto’s sobs made the atmosphere more gloomy. It was time to sleep. All went to their beds. But all were feeling uneasy in their beds.

               Getting up early in the morming Jagmeet started preparations to leave. She was still feeling the prick of last night’s insult. Sensing her state of mind, I was also secretly getting ready. Preetu and Jeetu without bidding us good-bye went to the fields with the bullock-cart. Preetu's children were making a noise to go to school. Father after taking tea went out and sat on a wooden seat infront of our neighbour's door. Preetu's wife busied her self in removing dung from the cattle shed. Mother formaly requested us to take breakfast before leaving. But looking at Jagmeet's silence she did not insist. She came to see us off upto the gate of the house. When she placed her hand on my head to bless me she could not hinder her tears. I also felt like weeping, but controlling myself I siad, “Mother, if you don't like our coming, we won't come in future.”

               “Whenever you come you come like mounted policemen. You can yourself see how the whole family feels terror-stricken. If you can't come as family member should come, damn with such coming! Whenever you come spread terror in the family.” Mother dried her over-flowing eyes with her palms. Now in her eyes I could see a mixed expression of motherly love, fear and anger. In spite of my utmost efforts, I was unable to forget that strange expression even after reaching Chandigarh. I remained upset for two or three days. At last I decided to go to the village without caring for Jagmeet's protest. But reaching home I was repenting. I was remembering Jagmeet's warnings again and again. The decision which I had come to convey to the family had stuck in my throat. I was sitting like a dumb-found person. The polythene bag containing mangoes, brought by me for the children, had tilted on father's cot. One of the mangoes had rolled towards father's meal-plate. But neither mother nor any of the children picked up the mango-bag. Father also did not push away the mango touching his plate. All of them were looking at me as if I had brought hand-grenades instead of mangoes.

               In such an unwelcome situation I wanted to pick up the bag and go back. In my state of desperation I was quite oblivious of the fact that in an atmosphere of terrorism in the Punjab I would have to walk a distance of ten kilometers at night to reach the near railway station. "Let me be killed by whosoever likes..." determined to face any sort of consequences, I had hardly touched the bag, when I heard my mother's soft voice, “you are sitting in such a down cast mood as if you have just cremated you daughter. Have your meals" mother said placing a plate on my thighs and she took the bag from my hands and said, “why are you so dejected? Let us do Jeeto's marriage this year. God willing if the next crop is good we shall manage to build your house too.”

               Mother's words pacified my throbbing temples for the time being. Like a hungry chick crying for food when I raised my face up and looked at an expressionless face of my mother, the decision to be conveyed again stuck in my throat. I wanted to say, “I won't take a single penny from this house.” My apathy did not allow me to speak. But my thinking made me free of mounds of heavy burden and I was feeling so relieved as if I was going home after undergoing a long imprisonment in a fabricated case of terrorism.